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You imagine the scene: a security officer searches your bag, extracts with a grinning smile a double-decimeter of pink silicone and calls some colleagues to show them his grip. The whole terminal is laughing, your six-year-old niece asks what the purpose of this big object is and your mother shot you with an outrageous glance. Rather than live this nightmare or give up the little gadget that would brighten your holiday here are seven tips for getting on the plane with a sex toy.

Put them in your checked baggage

The closer you get to the safety gate by crossing your fingers in your back, a totally false smile on your face, the more you’ll look suspicious. To save yourself the ordeal, the most obvious solution is to bury your vibrator in the suitcase you will leave at check-in. miraculously, she will be waiting for you on the treadmill. In 95% of cases, checked baggage is indeed a good solution. But your suitcase has a life without you. The x-rays, it’s going to be entitled somewhere in the depths of the airport. An employee will detail his content on a screen. That he thinks you are obsessed does not matter since you will never know it! But he may wonder what this unidentified object. Another source of trouble is.

Label them!

You do not want your luggage to be dumped, dismembered and defused by demining services before finally returning to you seven days after your arrival on vacation? Facilitate the work of security guards. In case you have kept it, take your sex toy in its original packaging. That will not be suspicious at all. Well, well, it’s a vibrator, said the employee blandly. If you do not pack it, put it in a bag you kindly write the word “sex toy” as a little secret between you and the security guard. But a dilemma then presents itself to you: sex-toys are stolen enormously, especially if they are expensive and many are. In very religious countries, they are even very rare commodities. It’s unlikely that you spent three hours filing a complaint in the corridors of airport to pick up a vibrator would you?

At the gate, ask for a search

To avoid any mowing and be sure to find your plastic friend on arrival, so you are left to the safety gate, your hand luggage under the arm, a dildo at the bottom, subtly threaded into the sleeve of your little one wool for the evening. You put the bag on the carpet, cross the gate. No luck: ask to search your bag. Rather than seeing everything unpacked on a table next to other passengers, you’re scared niece, your scandalized mother and, as long as you’re there, your husband who was not aware of anything, know that you enjoy a joker: to request that the search of your luggage takes place in a room away.

Above all, do not deny

There, do not panic. Remember that the control officers have seen since the morning seventeen pocket vibrators, four giant dildos, a penis pump and two beads of three balls of geisha. So, to the question “what is this object? The only appropriate answer is: It’s a vibrator. Any lie, even well shot “it’s a mare’s thermometer because a veterinarian and there’s an epidemic of equine fever in Ibiza”, will make you dive into more and more dangerous waters.

Drop the handcuffs and the high tech!

If you have observed the four previous rules, your sex toy and you do not risk a bad surprise. In the hold or cabin, metal handcuffs will not pass the X-rays; it is a certainty, even with some frills on top. Similarly, sex toys highly technological vibrating egg-controlled vaginal eggs, will cause much more suspicion than a silicone penis stupid. Also avoid, as far as possible, gadgets to the James Bond, vibrator type disguised as a stick of lipstick. The James Bond slumbering in any security agent will see perhaps the secret weapon of Mata Hari that you are to overthrow his government.

Remove the batteries before transporting

Yes, it’s obvious. But it’s better to think about it beforehand than when the stewardess, trying to make room in the compartment above your head, will realize that a bag moves by itself. And makes a funny noise from the threshold of your door to that of your vacation spot, your luggage will continue to be transshipped, banged, and manipulated. And a small on oroff button is triggered so easily.

Never take them “on you”

Little malignant! You thought that the simplest way to avoid a risky search of your luggage was not to bury your sex toy but to carry it, how to say, “On you”. Why not? It could even be vaguely sexy, on an imperative condition: to be certain, completely certain, that the sex toy has no, absolutely no metal parts in its mechanism. In which case, you will inevitably ring the door … For once, security agents do not see many times, like you! You risk becoming an urban legend, a living myth that will brighten canteen lunches. And next year you will have to take the train.

Solitary pleasure or as a couple, woman or man, the quest for the sextoy that will make you vibrate is long and arduous do not see pun. Faced with the multitude of models and perhaps for fear of entering the sexshop in the corner by asking too many questions, the step to take is not always easy.

What form?

Beginners in sextoys, calm your ardor. The attractive and state-of-the-art range of naughty accessories is tempting, but sometimes the simplest is the most effective. Dressed in rhinestones, golden effect or taking the form of a lipstick, the sex toy takes the most realistic forms to the funds, but it should not be blinded by a mere aesthetic appearance. In the end, this new ally will take the form of an appliance rather than an object that will decorate your room. The best thing is not to want to push our limits. The more modest will opt for a small discreet model that can even slip into a handbag, for the rest an “average” size will suffice for a first attempt.

What stimulation?

Be careful, best double ended dildos get rough! Now you have to listen to your desires and target the part you want to stimulate during these special moments. Ladies and young ladies rather clitoral, give up the idea of ??the duck vibrant, mythical in terms of sextoy, which will disappoint in terms of efficiency. Instead, prefer the vibrator, like the model “lipstick” previously mentioned or flatter models that will stimulate the clitoris.

For vaginal stimulation, it will opt for vibrating models, non-vibrating or, notice to fans of “Sex and the city”, the model “rabbit” may well become your best ally or any other sex toy providing double stimulation.For the more adventurous who would not want to close any door and discover all their sensations, they will opt more for a curved and possibly realistic model.